Merry Christmas/Happy Xmas

CS Lewis used to distinguish between Christmas, a Christian mass celebrating the birth of Jesus, and Xmas, a feast of over-commercialised self-indulgence, the implicqation being that the former was being swamped by the latter. Leena and I went to midnight mass last year - the best part of the celebration for me - and I will go to the Unitarian Church in Brixton for Christmas tomorrow before setting off down to Winchester to be with my ex and children for Xmas. Henry and Julia have been brought up in a secular environment and, although I share some of Diana's scepticism over religion, I obviously have the piety gene and cannot really enjoy the event without a little bit of church.
For guides Xmas usually brings the chance to earn a little extra in the bleak winter months when work is scarce and the January tax bill looms. I often used to take off as soon after New Year as possible and return a couple of months later for my birthday and readiness for the new season - March can be surprisingly busy as the air fares tend to be lower then than in summer.
I have exactly a week's work over Chmas/New Year with an agency job doing London and Windsor, my favourite day trip, on the 28th and a six day tour over New Year, which should bring in some extra cash. I have asked TT not to give me anything else until March, as I felt I did a little too much last winter with too few people, and would prefer a complete break to write my masterwork.
Actually, although the life should be ideal for writing as a second occupation, that side of my work has been a fairly complete failure, as my ideas for books and articles hardly ever get taken up. I think the problem is that I am neither a scholar nor a hustler. I rejected the academic life in favour of, first, public service and then tourist guiding, so I am not in a position to get any research published and I find it hard to pitch ideas over the telpehone. Whereas I enjoyed working on my own in guiding and finding my own way, I could have done with a mentor in writing to show me the ropes. However, I feel I have soemthing to say in the field of intelligent travel writing and so I must keep plugging away.
So, New Year's resolution: hustle, hustle, hustle...in a genteel way.

Hyde Park

Hyde Park can be beautiful in winter. Took a walk across the park, ostensibly as part of research for the idea of doing a series of short pieces called London Landmarks (anyone interested?) which would feature a picture of a statue, monument or architectural curiosity with a photo and some background information. Might do for one of the London papers, of which there are loads at the moment, being given away and mounting up in the bins and streets.

I have lost - or am losing - a joke about the cats and dogs cemetery by Lancaster Gate. It is boarded up now and probably out of use, although people still have pets in Bayswater I s'pose. I used to refer to Fifi the Poodle butried there, who was "more faithfult han all three of my husbands" according to her owner. Crumby joke but it always gets a laugh on a sleepy morning and guides are notoriously reluctant to give up old favourites, so I still manage to drag it in even through you cannot see the quaint little headstones any more.

From the cemetery I followed the Serpentine lake down to Peter Pan, said to be London's most popular statue, although the only person there yesterday was a down and out feeding the bird, one of those people who seem to live largely in the park, although I am sure they don't sleep there overnight - too cold at this time of year and no shelter. J M Barrie wrote the story at 100 Bayswater Road nearby, probably for the children of his neighbour - the two portrayed in a mawkish recent film (Finding Neverland) by Johny Depp and Kate Winslet.

Then in search of Diana, Princess of Wales, whose name appears on underfoot plaques through the park and who is commemorated nor once but twice there. There is a playground with the old tree with elves, fairies and other fantabulous creatures nearby - Billly Conolly featured it in one of his travel programmes and I am ashamed to say that this was the first I had heard of it and today was the first time I had actually been to see it in the flesh (or wood). As guides you miss a lot when you only look at things from a coach.

The main thing I was after was the fountain, which I was prepared to dislike but which I found charming. I had seen it after it opened and heard how it was getting overcrowded, dirty, etc with people even leaving dirty nappies there. Health and Safety enforcers had put various signs up around the basically oval shape of the fountain but the only thing anyone had left was a bunch of expensive roses. A friendly enough custodian was making sure no-one acted "inappropriately" (hate that word) and the place was peaceful and happy place, a fitting tribute to someone who had never really had a peaceful happy home.

What a contrast to the massive Albert Memorial, that busy and inclusive memorial nearby which has Albert, another uncomfortable royal spouse, surrounding by just about everybody who was anybody in world history as well as the four continents represented by a group around a bull for Europe, a buffalo for the Americas, a camel for Africa and an elephant for Asia. There was no room, however, for a kangaroo. I always tease the Australians about this - no wonder they were so determined to win back the Ashes...

THREAT TO THE BLUE BADGE?

A lot of hot air has been expended on the new Westminster Course which has been set up by City University in London and been opposed by many London guides who see it as a threat to the Blue Badge. Lucy McMurdo, tutor on the course, is also on the accreditation committee for the Institute of Tourist Guiding and so has a conflict of interest. At the last APTG meeting it was even suggested that we should refuse to renew our ITG subs as a protest at the continued existence of the course. It was even suggested that we should refuse to renew our ITG subs as a protest.

This, however, misunderstands the nature of both ITG and the guiding profession. Guiding is a semi-regulated profession. It is similar to many other professions in this respect - from medicine to taxi-driving. Doctors, who are heavily trained and fully qualified, are given responsibility for prescribing medicines and surgery, but people can set up as homeopathic healers with only a business card and a few theories. Likewise, to drive a black cab, you need to study for the Knowledge, but you can drive a minicab with nothing more than a driving licence and a battered five seater.

In some countries, such as Italy, guiding is so fiercely regulated that tour directors are fined for talking to their groups, even if it is just to point out where the loos are. This is almost facist and does little to protect local guides (who are rarely threatened by professional tour directors) and does a lot to offend tour groups who rely on their tds for practical help. In other countries, particularly in the third world, guiding is so unregulated that it is virtually impossible to visit a major site without some local acting as an unwanted and intrusive guide, which is a pain in the other direction.

In Britain anyone can read a couple of books about the east end, dress up in a top hat and offer Jack the Ripper walks for a fiver a head - and there is nothing a blue badge guide can do about it. Walking tours, tour directing and open top bus tours are largely unregulated because, well basically we live in a free country and it is impossible to regulate all human activity. However, the blue badge is the mark of someone who has taken the trouble to study London and its major sites and can be relied upon to know where the Parthenon Marbles are in the BM, how to get around the Tower, Westminster Abbey and St Pauls.

Tour operators know this and use the guide lists and websites to select and employ people who are qualified. I cannot imagine someone going to a tour op and being given the time of day if they say they have 'the Westminster Badge' which trains them for none of these things. Likewise there is a City of London course, which has existed for years and never been seen as a threat. It was even run by the late Katrine Prince - and no-one would have dared to criticise her...

Winter blues

When you are doing back to back touring you long for a few days at home. After the season ends the winter ennui starts to set in and you begin to feel at a loose end. I always said that guiding was a good profession for retirement because you have long periods of inactivity, but I sometimes am tempted by the predictability of a 9-5 Mon-Fri job because you have more clearly delineated periods of work and rest. In guiding the advantage is that you have times when there is no work and you have cetain degree of control over these. I actually turned down a guiding job in the summer because I wanted a break at the seaside in but this is extremely rare. Most of us take whatever we can get not knowing if and when the phone will ring again.

I have a short job taking a group around the Tower tomorrow morning, which should be a doddle but having time to think about it makes it seem more daunting especially as I guide there so rarely these days. In practice, getting the group through the security and giving them a brief historical orientation and ushering them into the Jewel House will take up most, probably all, of the time available, so I will not need to know that there are 40 Beefeaters (Yeoman Warders to be precise) and when every Tower was built. But I probably will do. Better overprepared than under - as long as you know when and how to edit your info.

CAROL SERVICE at St Botolph's Church, Aldgate was a lovely evening for guides yesterday with myself, Leena and Ken Menton over from Limerick. No arguments over courses, qualifications, etc. Just a bunch of guides singing and celebrating together. Should do it more often to lift the winter blues...

ETHNIC TOURISM

Went for a run in Brockwell park yesterday and saw a Moslem woman wearing the Nijab (?) taking her child for a walk. She was covered from head to toe in black and wore her veil with merely a piece of gauze over the eyes -impossible to make any eye contact, which is of course the idea. Reminded me of the recent controversy recently of the moslem women who were working respectively as teacher and lawyer but were unable to do so because of their insistence on wearing these face coverings.
What would happen if a Moslem woman wanted to become a tourist guide? We have very few guides from the ethnic minorities, most guides being white middle class, middle aged and middle minded (and predominantly female as yesterday's visit to Wimbledon in memory of Jenny Townshend confirmed). That, to be fair, is the make-up of our clientele and, even if she got ont he course and qualified, it is unlikely she would get much work - unless she had contacts and markets within the Moslem community.
For what it is worth, I am all in favour of multiculturalism and toleration as well as emancipation - I just think that the two are often incompatible. If a Moslem woman wants to remain true to the sheltered tradition of her community by wearing the veil that is fine - it affords her protection within these traditions and a degree of respct. If she wants to be emancipated and work as a lawyer, doctor, teacher or tourist guide, that is also fine. However, these jobs require eye contact as part of the communication required from professionals in these fields and this is not possible with a veil. So, it is surely one or the other - Moslem women have to open up and embrace western life (if not all its values) or remain covered and true to eastern ones. They cannot do both.

SOUTH BANK CONTRASTS

Strolling along the south bank of the Thames this afternoon I was struck once again by the contrast betweent he Globe and the National Theatres. The Globe is traditional and yet American, Shakespeare as it was in his day, sponsored and paid for by private money raised by the determination of a Hollywood actor who felt strongly that Sh's plays should be performed in the way that he would have known in the city where he made his name. The NT by contrast is v British - a concrete theatrical city paid for by the taxpayer.
The National however is in some ways more entrepreneurial than the Globe - many of the plays are musicals or popular middle class entertainments that translate to the West End and make the NT (and its directors) a pretty penny - Copenhagen, History Boys, Guys and Dolls, etc have all gone to mroe commercial venues, while the Globe sticks to Shakespeare with the occasional nod to his contemporaries, who would probably never see the light of day without their efforts. Today we went to a reading of an eightenth century play about Jews by Lessing of interest only because it showed a non-antisemitic treatment of the subject. The NT's extra-auditorium activities are more mainstream. Both venues have backstage tours, a major source of income to the Globe, a privileged look backstage for the NT.
The Globe is commercial yet keeps traditional even unknown Elizabethan theatre alive - the NT is subsidised yet is pretty sharp when it comes to making money out of the punter with its modern productions. I have always enjoyed the NT plays but have a soft spot for the Globe also